the anatomy of silence

There is a story growing within me;

It starts at

the tip of my tongue

Lights up the neurons

In my brain

Electrifies every nerve in my body

Until it flows out through

The ink of my pen


It is all-encompassing:

This need, this desire

How I cannot hide it —

The way my hypothalamus makes it show

Through the shine in my eyes,

Through the racing of my heart

This want to build a world

From word upon word


There is a feeling growing within me;

It starts in

The pits of my stomach

Butterflies emerging from cocoons

Till they flutter around and exit

Outside my cardia;

My words fumble at

The monarchs leaving my mouth


It is all-encompassing:

His blue eyes, his experience

How I cannot stop it —

the rush of dopamine in his presence

the sweaty palms making writing harder

the serotonin making inspiration brighter

The want to become

Wanted by the one you want


There is SOMETHING growing within me;

It starts near

My lower dantian

A seed, well-travelled,

Planted in untilled, fertile soil

Every cell in my body

Turns against me —

The ultimate betrayal


It is all-encompassing:

This fear, this dread

How I have to hide it —

The way my amygdala frenzies;

How my hand fights against

The cessation of a world

This want to run

From a life within a life




There is nothing within me;

It starts with a waterfall

from a rupture within —

tabula rasa revealed as

an unfinished manuscript

dries on paper at

the sound of a cry

The ink in my pen, washed away


It is all-encompassing:

This anhedonia, this blankness

How there is nothing more to hide —

My body has purged itself

From the inside out

Torn apart and unfulfilled

This want to be more

than forever a work-in-progr



Written by Ayesha Cala
Art by Ashlee Kim Galorio