Redefining Love: JPG, KASAMA Holds Discussion on Familial, Romantic, Queer Relationships

by Samuel Harry Adlaon


Bringing together students to deconstruct preconceived notions around love, the Kataas-taasang Sanggunian ng mga Mag-aaral (KASAMA), in collaboration with the Junior Philosophers’ Guild (JPG) and Office of Student Development Services (OSDS), hosted “A Talk on Love, Respect, and Consent: Navigating Ethics in Relationships” on Wednesday, February 12 at the Institute Mini Theater.


To analyze familial, romantic, and queer relationships through the lens of ethics, the event featured three distinguished speakers: Asst. Prof. Lex Rei Brendon Hilario and Asst. Prof. Ian Embradura from the Department of Philosophy and Humanities, along with Asst. Prof. Fitzgerald Torralba from the Department of Sociology.


Asst. Prof. Hilario, an Associate Researcher in Japan Studies at the UP Asian Center, UP Diliman, and a Research Board Member of the Philosophical Association of the Philippines, opened the discussion by examining Gen-Z relationships.


He explored how media influence can contribute to a “delusionized” perception of love among the youth. Emphasizing the importance of regulating one’s emotions in both romantic or platonic relationships, he urged the audience to reflect before engaging in any romantic or sexual partnerships.


Using a flower as an analogy, Asst. Prof. Hilario emphasized that loving someone does not mean plucking them directly from the ground but gently pulling them out with all of their debris and soil in order to care for them.


He concluded his talk by highlighting the uniqueness of each person’s path in love, saying, “Love is there. Love can either wait or you can pursue love. You have to have your own path of love. You do not have to follow what everyone is doing. Find love in your own way.”


Meanwhile, Asst. Prof. Embradura, the head of the Institute for Policy Innovation and Leadership’s (IPIL) Social Lab Unit as well as a co-founder and executive director of Pinas Safe Spaces, an LGBTQ+ led youth organization founded in Iligan City, continued the discussion by delving into the topic of LGBTQIA+ relationships.


He shared his insights on how gender roles have shaped the way love has been viewed. He also shed light on the heteronormative views on love and how society has constructed and assigned certain expressions and roles to specific genders, shaping the way love and queerness are viewed.


“Mahirap maging bading,” he echoed, relaying how growing up with limited stories and media around queer love made it difficult for him to discover himself more.


Moreover, Asst. Prof. Embradura talked about the idea of polyamory or “consensual non-monogamous” love. As he delved into the history of monogamous relationships and how it operates on the “starvation economy,” the professor offered a different perspective on loving. “Why do we think na quantifiable entity si love?” he asked.


Asst. Prof. Embradura encouraged exploring fantasies consensually, noting how society has constructed love in a way that it does not accept other forms other than what is traditional. He recommended “The Ethical Slut” by Dossie Easton and Janet Hardy to help deconstruct the notion that only monogamous relationships are valid.


Ultimately ending a progressive session, he outlined, “To queer romance and love is to decolonize it from the paradigms of heteronormativity and to embrace its fluidity and infinite possibilities.”


Asst. Prof. Torralba, a faculty of the Department of Sociology and the current Artistic Director of the Resident Pop Band Echoes, led the final session centered on family relationships. He began by examining the definition of family and its importance in society as the main agent of socialization.


Focusing more closely on the Filipino family, he described it as highly traditional, extending beyond kinship. “Solidarity in the Filipino community is strong,” he noted, sharing how the Filipino family is transnational and rooted in filial piety.


Asst. Prof. Torralba also discussed the evolving definition of family, referencing the famous online quote, “Pets are the new children and plants are the new pets.” The concept of family had transcended beyond the traditional nuclear house of mother, father, and a child, extending to include connections beyond blood relations.


Confronting a harsh reality that resonated with many, he revisited the notion of the Filipino family in the 21st century. Bringing up the “uncomfortable” topics of Children as Plan B, Parents as Trauma Generators, and Families as Abusers, he left the audience with a thought-provoking question: “Is having a family worth it?”


This event served as a safe space for conversations and discourse surrounding love and its kaleidoscope of complexities, allowing for open discussions that deconstruct the archaic views on relationships.